Life

This is a pretty serious post and I'm really sorry i normally don't like to be a downer but every once in a while life does get to me so I'm apologizing in advance... Those that know me know that there have been my share of heartaches in my life the last couple of years but i will have to say that this year has by far been the hardest year of my life so far! I know that my life really isn't that hard and i have a lot of blessings which believe me i know i do but still in my own little world my heart has been ripped into pieces this year. Here is a brief explanation of my year. I ended a 4 year relationship that needed to be over with because of the situations we were in and lets be honest he wasn't all that into. Which was extremely hard for me. I spent 4 years of my life with him and had the time of my life and to admit that it wasn't going to work out like i had thought and dream-pt about was crushing to me. Then my grandmother passed away. This was really hard for me because i had gotten the opportunity to really spend sometime with her and grow to love her in a way i never thought i would. I miss going and picking her up for her hair app taking her to lunch afterward, going to the care center 2 or 3 times a week to do her hair and spend time with her. I miss her so much and this holiday season is going to be a hard one with out her around. Then I met this wonderful guy who told me he could make all my dreams come true... So me being who i am handed him my heart (a very very fragile broken heart) and told him he could have it as long as he didn't hurt me and cherished it! I will admit he was pretty wonderful and was making all my dreams come true and then true to life and I'm figuring out why my heart got broken again... So This post is me telling everyone and myself that it's time to pick up my heart off the ground and guard and protect it with all that i have! I do not regret nor wish that i didn't go through these hard times because everything happens for a reason and i learn time and time again i am so much stronger then i think i am. I can not thank my family more for being here for me through this last year and every year. I know everyone says that family has to be there but my family has been so supported and I count them as the biggest blessing in my life! They have held me through every tear, made me laugh, told me when i was out of place, and more importantly has loved me through it all!!! Thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! So here is to 2010 I had so many amazing, incredible, breath taking, life learning, tearful, laughing, experiences that i wouldn't trade for the world but i will be honest i can't wait for 2011 to get here so i can start over with a new heart and new journey!!!